i Wish i could ~

i wish i could,

i really wish i could,

i could forget anything that i wish i could,

demolish it from my mind.

i find out myself on 1 things,

that's really drive me crazy,

and it's unbelievable that,

i am gonna said this what was that thing that make me wish to forget?

Secondary Scouting life.

scout it was part of my life, it was 1 of the best thing i ever had,

1 of the best thing i ever ever had,

non of u can ever question how passion i am into it.

Love it while Hate it too,

if i have the option to choose again still i choose the same,

but i wish i could forget it.

because remembering it doesn't make me happy.

it's my fault, when i was young, i was too proud of myself,

too proud of being the strongest best scout in the year.

that's my arrogance who tear me apart.

i guess i get the lesson from it then.

it affect me i can't be friend with those friend who i wish to be,

my scout mate friends. i same age with them but i just couldn't be into it.

I look it back, i was happily with a gang of scout friend, the moment until age 15 only.

starting point at age 15, my scouting life, i was a lone ranger in scout. becuz of politics.

i see my friends around,

who were active just like me, involve in co curricular, are as much memory just like me

my friend in SMJKrian, my friend in PBSM, they all seems like really having precious moment,

but i did not.. hpw jealous i am to all of you.

2/2, Is a scout day, the history of scout begin on that day.

i saw my friends comment in facebook, all about wishing happy scout day.

they were tagging my friends around, wishing each other happy scouting day,

however, i wasn't get tag by them. this always remind me 1 things only

is my friendship with them will never get close anymore,

gap is always a gap that couldn't fill any hot juice to make it sweeter.

i lost my friendship with them, we do know each other, but best friend title gone,

that's why i once i see i hear about scout, it recall me this piece of shit.

now i know why i love scout, in the same time, i hope i am not a scout,

how nice if i still can get close with them? maybe i am not a scout, it won't be like this

in present, due to misunderstanding, i lost my friendship with my only best scout mate i had,

i was so sad, i was really sad, dunno how to describe how heartbreaking i am to see it.

today, this person no longer concern about me as before,

don't talk with me, don't reply my text, we were like totally stranger, wat can i do?

i was like nobody to this person, but this fella really meant alot to me.

if u see this, "I am sorry, please forgive me ~"

another piece of sadness happen to me again, here is the place for me to release.

thank you my blog.