wish this isn't me =)

Few days ago,

a friend of mine told me that,

Gary, I got the feelings that

you are pessimistic, dejected, sorrowful..

I was like "oh really? = ="

and I would agree that actually he's right about that

it's cool where someone read through me

and that's really not i wan but it was me.

Fuck shit I got things to say it right now,

should I? I should or not?

fuck yea can't talk to some1 this in reality,

I guess blog is the place where I can simply say whatever i wanted to!?

fuck why people can't accept nothing is perfect this fact !?

i am actually whacking myself as i am 1 of them,

so since nothing is perfect why still i have to work hard to change,

myself so that to fit into others people?

no choice, bad temper person is lonely,

there's no such things as bad temper people's group,

gay still got a group but bad temper people's group?

no don't have... that's why miserable..

I really mind why can't I fit into the group of people where i wanted to,

if i asked around, the feedback is still the same, i guess,

"if we all rejecting you, definitely is you got problem, wasn't us?

so what to do is you have to change yourself or else, only can say sorry to you"

i mind, i really mind, so i try hard myself try to change, but it's just a lie to myself

change lan meh? change wat? this is me la.. change into what? not me?

nah o0o, i have to understand, i must accept, i have to accept,

i am born like this then i am who am i.

talk so much, it's only a point,

i am sad to be bad temper, emotion, afraid people not aware of me,

scare of people does not include me as i am existing,

afraid people treat me like invisible objects.

so i do something stupid,

in order to gain people's attention?

and hope some1 will actually come to you and,

did something u are really expecting people do it for u? stoP dreaming!

i have to say. confession!

yea that's me, you can't accept, i mustn't try to change myself, so that,

i can fit into a group of people where u won't ignore me, will treat me as some1?

hmm not worthy not worthy.

the value is not there,

rather to be alone. dignity is a value where i must have it,

although i lost battle in the transformation into good of myself.

still. moving forward with a value i must hold on in order to make it meaningful,

to myself =)